Your new super-power? Processing your emotions!
Do emotions belong in the workplace?
A provocative question for sure.
Growing up, many of us are taught to suppress emotions – not let others see you upset, or, my person favorite, “suck it up.”
Conversely, we are faced with others who let their emotions rush out in a fury – take, for instance, the fight on the playground, or the blow up at work.
So, spoiler alert: it’s not a question of IF they belong in the workplace. Because they are there, in lock step with us everywhere we go. But it’s HOW we THINK about and PROCESS the emotion that can be the game changer. Read on to learn more.
FACT: Every time you don’t process an emotion, it builds up like the Mind Thayer on Stranger things. A graphic example but true…Forced to do its bidding, Billy kidnapped Hawkins residents to feed the Mind Flayer and create its giant physical form.
That’s exactly what’s happening every time you don’t process an emotion. It forces you to do it’s negative bidding, feeding into it’s growth, as it continues to build inside you, festering ill-will and resentment.
But as we discussed, you don’t just leave your emotions at the door when you enter work – or any area of your life. So instead of being afraid of emotions, what if we just considered them a data point? A source of information?
Just think: How might that change the game?
Let’s first explore where emotions come from:
FEAR is born out of self-protection – either real or perceived. We fear losing what we value.
LOVE is a core driving force, arguably life’s most powerful emotion that can drive you to do or say almost anything.
ANGER is born out of a belief that there is a threat to you or someone you love.
GUILT helps you decide who you are. You feel guilt when you say or do something against what you believe.
SADNESS occurs when you’ve lost something or are disappointed in yourself, others or a situation.
AND these emotions are real, raw. Yet, nine times out of ten, they are based on past experiences, limiting beliefs and how we feel about ourselves and have little to do with what’s actually happening in the present moment.
Why do emotions flare? Because, so often, we attach ourselves to a specific outcome, thus putting all our emotional power and energy in the hands of someone else, outside the limits of our control.
News flash – you’re giving away your power!!
HEAR ME – you have every right to feel something. And sometimes you just want to feel it for a while. Cool! Process it! But do it by yourself, with yourself, not with others.
And then, the moment you realize that feeling is no longer serving you is the moment you can begin to explore that feeling. Here’s how…
Step #1 – Stop and Breathe!
Step #2 – Ask these questions:
What am I feeling?
What’s the story I’m telling myself that’s causing this emotion?
What else may be going on here?
How does this broader view change how I’m feeling?
If it sounds simple, it is! It’s just a matter of catching yourself in time to process in the moment. And with practice, this will become more and more seamless.
